you know what’s fucking worse than NO pockets?
fucking FAKE POCKETS
THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT
- Men's magazine on eating right: STEAK PROTEIN EAT A WHOLE DANG COW EAT YOUR LOCAL BOOK CLUB FOR AN EXTRA ENERGY BOOST PROTEIN HOO HAH
- Women's magazine on eating right: One piece of lettuce a day with a side of two slices of skinless apple (the skin has extra calories! YUCK!) Want to treat yourself? Indulge in a plate of rabbit food with yummy diet water sauce for an extra kick!
saying women shouldn’t be allowed to get abortions because they were the ones who had unprotected sex is like saying smokers shouldn’t receive treatment for lung cancer or drivers shouldn’t receive treatment in a car crash because they knew the risks when they got a driving license
and some girl at the table next me was like “THERE IS SOMETHING MOVING IN THERE”.
Our instructor went and zoomed in on it for her.
Guess what it was.
I’ll give you a hint.
It was sperm.
this may just be the best post on tumblr
i love this because i remember seeing this elsewhere and it’s continued that the teacher then had to leave the room for five minutes because he couldn’t stop laughing
- 90s Animal Planet: Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
- 2013 Animal Planet: ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
- 90s History Channel: Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
- Early 2000's History Channel: So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
- 2013 History Channel: Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
so i was drawing whales yesterday
and my sister decided that if you flip this drawing upside down he turns into a party whale
havin’ a whale of a time